Seems like A Bollywood Film

Personal Secret by: Karishma
Place: Bangalore, India

What an interesting order of events taking place around me... Seems like a complete Bollywood film-script being written

Characters
1. Me, Karishma
2. My Ex-Boyfriend, Pranav
3. My Roomie, Tamara
4. Tamara's Boyfriend, Adnan

Well, my roomie Tamara wakes up one fine morning and feels that she is missing her boyfriend Adnan a lot. So she decides to travel to New Delhi to surprise him. Little does she know that her thought will set my ex Pranav boiling.

Pranav does not admit openly, but he has this thing for Tamara. Tamara is this Turkish beauty and guys in India are crazy about her. My ex is no exception! She is his undeclared love. Tamara loves flirting with him.

Anyway, so Tamara gives Pranav a wake up call in the morning and tells him how she is missing Adnan, her boyfriend and how desperately she wants to travel to New Delhi to see him.

"Okay, babe! What did you just do!"
When Pranav heard this waking up from his sleep, he felt shattered as the grim reality hit him right in his face. For a moment he didn't know how to react... He didn't know whether to dissuade Tamara from going or to calmly just walk away and carry on with his own life and me.

But we've all known Pranav as this possessive man. Sometimes even possessive for things that aren't his. It was evident that hell would break lose and so it did! He blasted out at Tamara. "What the fu** do you think you are doing? You bloody spend all this time with me, you say you wanna travel with me, I hold you all night when we sleep and one fine day you rise from bed to say you are missing Adnan?"

Tamara didn't know how to react to that. She was struck by the inner voice of guilt. She knew she had cheated on Adnan by sharing all those lovy-dovy-mushy moments with Pranav. She felt she should go to her guy, surprise him and make an attempt to rejuvenate her dead relationship. At the same time, she felt helpless about Pranav's state of mind and guilty again because she was responsible for having given Pranav that space. She didn't accept Pranav really because she would hate to do that to me. But she kept telling him that she felt deeply for him "too". I have absolutely no clue what she was thinking...
Wow! What a woman... I don't have words to express, just abuses for the bit*h! Though I really love her. She's been my best roommate ever and a great friend too.

Well she did what she said eventually. She flew to New Delhi to revive her relationship. The sheer thought of Adnan and Tamara being together utterly broke Pranav into pieces. He sobbed like a baby as if there was no end to it. All that he could do is talk to me about his feelings. Sometimes, he would hide how broken he felt thinking that it might hurt me, but he could hardly control.

All this drove me so mad that I had thoughts of pushing Tamara off our 9th floor apartment. I kept trying each moment to keep Pranav at peace and make him feel strong & positive. I kept giving him lessons on life, love and relationships.

Time passed and our villain arrived back from New Delhi. She narrated to Pranav the moments she spent with Adnan. Pranav felt sick from within because he had walked over me for Tamara. He felt "used" by her to satisfy her emptiness in life. He yelled at her a little, but then gave up. He kind of realized he has no future with a woman like her.


My ex felt like a loser after having dumped me and then being used & thrown away by my roommate. I felt terrible to see him in that state and had such a flow of emotions through my mind that day. I could hardly get sleep for the next couple of nights after that. Just the thought of what he must have gone through kept playing on my mind continuously.
I sound like an idiot, don't I? But, its hard to see that person in pain whom you've loved so dearly.

He now wanted to come back to me and wanted me to accept him again. I seriously didn't have the heart to go ahead and accept him again. I mean I could do everything to ensure he was okay, but to relate with him again in that manner was close to impossible.

But my dear ex then broke down before me and said how he was losing himself and going mad. He even considered suicide. I am a fool that I am and I gave into that. I melted! My ego told him that "I can't accept you", but the stupid heart inside me said, "Lets give it some time and see how it works out between us." It really gave him a ray of hope to know that I was at least considering him and we could possibly have a future together.

I don't know why I fall so easily into these stupid traps. I started to be all caring and loving one more time without using any specific words of love as such, but just through the way I behaved with him. He felt at ease to know that I was getting back.

Life did have to turn ugly one more time. This time I thought he had returned to me finally. I had started making efforts to revive our love. But you are then wondering why am I writing all this about him if I have really started to love him again -- the reason is this:
Pranav: "I don't know if I still feel for Tamara. I feel really jealous when she speaks about her boyfriend. Her thoughts still keep coming to me and keep troubling me. I don't know if its you or its her!"

I let our conversation continue normally and I said good-bye to him for the day. After that, all I could just say was "f*ck off dude", but I said it silently to myself so that he wouldn't hear. I really don't think I am gonna let myself be treated like a tennis ball anymore... I am not his back-up plan or a second option. I really don't wanna melt yet another time again in front of his "distressed image". Dealing with such issues is what psychiatrists or rehabs do, not me for sure!

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Forgive, Forget & Look Ahead

Letter by: Adrian
Place: Iowa City, Iowa

The following is my letter to my girlfriend. She has been is state of shock and despair, unable to stop her tears and her sinking heart. It hurts me so much to see her that way and enrages me towards her molester dad. In defense of herself, she attacked him last week and he is now critical in the hospital.

Dear Grace,
Unwanted things happen in our lives quite often and they tend to take away our happiness. Sometimes there are reasons why those things happen and sometimes there are just no reasons at all really.

What has happened in your life honey has now to be left behind. Have an attitude of never turning to look back at the saddening past. There is no end to it, you will only keep hurting yourself in the process and nothing will help.

I can imagine how angered you are and the hatred you possess within for him. What is it that you will gain out of it anyway? It will only keep upsetting your mood and your peace of mind. He was unstable and a loser in life. He was just weak and is still weak today. Your act was nothing but self-defense. It was an innocent sin and its time now that you forgive yourself.

"Forgive, Forget & Look Ahead" is easier said than done. It will require conscious efforts from your side to get over what has happened and look into the future. Lets together take this up as a challenge towards making your future better.

Lets believe that life & your faith in God saved you from not letting this happen during the second year of your course. Life has given you a second chance to really prove yourself with all your mental strength, knowledge and the urge to be successful. You know you are good, I know you are good & we both know you are good. We both know that you really can do it. I have read some of your reports and I am so sure you will be filing for your patent soon.

For now, to put life back into action, do as I say.
1. Spend a lot of time in your labs. Keep yourself busy.

2. A lot of money has been spent by you being there and its necessary to make up for it. Take up your Research Assistant job again.

3. Try to socialize with people to keep your mind off the event that happened.

4. Last thing, which I believe is the most important. If things don't work out between your dad and you, then its best we find a lawyer to deal with this. Don't lose your self-respect and your honor. Don't let him take you for granted. You need to put an end to the drama because you really deserve a much better life.

And yeah, on your weekends, go for your drum sessions. Life is not long trust me... We hardly live about 2500-3000 weekends and so many of them are already over for you. Don't let your weekends go waste.

I am always there by you today and will be there every single tomorrow too. You know that!

Smile & be happy. That's all that I care about...

Forever Yours,
Adrian

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Straying can be Good

Advice by: Norman Keith
Place: Pasadena, California

Unfaithfulness and multi-partner indulgences are looked down upon. There is nothing wrong looking down upon them, else relationships would never survive for long. But, in fact, straying really helps and somewhere deep down there, it strengthens the bond of emotion and love with your real partner. Let me explain that...

First Thing:
"Man has never been monogamous, man has always been polygamous!"
Well, this trait in human beings has been witnessed ever since we came into being. What it means is that, human beings have this physiological & psychological characteristic of not being satisfied with one.
Second Thing:
"Man being a social animal is stimulated by emotions of guilt, commitment, faithfulness and a whole bunch of other words which make him moral (supposedly)."
What this means is that even though being human makes us polygamous, we are quite often struck by the lightning of morality.


Having understood these facts, it is obvious that at some moment in life an individual is bound to stray away. The individual strays just for excitement or for no great quarrel between the couple as such. The individual finds this new fling lively, mouth-watering and irresistible. The affair continues for a while till the individual starts to show signs of change with his partner. The partner realizes things are fishy and soon sail the winds of insecurity and suspicion.

A day comes when the affair or a part of it comes to light and things do get pretty bad. The individual who strayed away realizes that he/she took a wrong turn in life and messed up big time. The individual finds how much harm he/she caused to the partner just for a moment of fling and risked a well nurtured relationship.

The realization makes the individual then make up for the shit that happened. He/she goes out of the way to care for the partner and shower extra love in place of the mess created. The partner, if loving enough, sees love returning back home and usually melts unless egos come in between.

Life once again becomes normal and relationships become stronger. The couple realizes what they probably could have lost for this moment of temporary excitement. In future, all fights and quarrels don't get this extreme because of the realization of the importance of the relationship. The couple once again falls madly in love and another honeymoon starts.

If probably the straying wouldn't have occurred, life wouldn't have wrecked as much. But then just because it wrecked, what was built later was way stronger and bolstered with greater understanding & love.


So just in case life takes you & your loved-one down this route ever, learn to be understanding, strong, forgiving and wise. Know what you have built through a long period and learn to value it like any businessman values his business. You would take ages to put in the same sort of investment with any other random person and you don't even know where you would get with that. So be calculated and if you've decided on giving up/compromising, be very sure what you are losing and if you think its worth it. Being forgiving on one side and being really loving on the other side can make the two see a beautiful life in a completely different light. I'd say give it another chance...

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A Lesson for Women & Another for both Sexes

Advice by: Natalie
Place: Birmingham, UK

Lesson 1: For women. If you want him

If you give a man everything he wants very easily, you can be almost sure that he'll move on to another woman if he gets his chance. Men want excitement, men want sex, men want love without a commitment and men want all that what is fun. If you women spill all the fun in a jiffy, then he's gone baby gone!

You need to make him wait. You need to get what you want out of him every time you give him something. This may seem cheap because we are talking of "love", not "trade". But try to understand that a man moves to other women because its evolutionary, similarly, a woman needs to practise such tactics with full consciousness to keep her man with her.

Take things slow, have fun. Show the guy that you really can be fun to be with and he must long for your company. Tease him a little by making him wait for the next dose of excitement. Keep this going as long as you can; give & take, give & take, give & take. The guy will be madly yours!

Trust me, just take this as a scripture from your Holy Book and practise it:
"Your man will be yours and only yours if you give him what he desires only in parts and not all at once. Keep him excited and each time you do that, you can demand what you desire"



Lesson 2: For both sexes in the age group of 18-25.
Quite often you may come across a situation where you are going through a rough patch in your relationship and at the same time you have work/academic/domestic/some other commitments.

These are real difficult times when you have to fulfill your commitments with sincerity and at the same time ignore the rocky moments of your love life. Well, its at these moments that you have to make your decision about whats more important. Is it possible to put your commitment off for a while? Can you afford to lose what you may lose if you don't adhere to your commitment? That's what you gotta answer.

On the other hand, you need to gauge how rocky and unstable your relationship is at that moment. If you feel that its an SOS situation for your relationship, then you need to pay more attention to it. If its not really SOS, let time pass and by then things get cooler and easier to sort out.

Most often, there isn't an SOS situation in our relationships. Its work/academic/other life that needs your attention more. You can usually mend your relationships even if its a little delayed, but when time flies away for your other commitments, its usually irreparable.

So you really need to keep this last paragraph in mind whenever you encounter trouble in this form. You need to separate your love life from your other commitments. You really have to do it. You need to give your other commitments more importance and ensure that you see them through right till the end. If you are settled with work, there is a calmer mind that can sort out stupid love life issues more easily.

Trust me, just take this as a scripture from your Holy Book and practise it:
"Its really not worth blowing up your work/academics/other life commitments because they don't come back. Love can wait for a while and still be yours again."

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Confessions Of A F'ed-up Mind

Poetry by: Radeyah
Place: Doha, Qatar

Its getting increasingly difficult because I haven't reacted for almost a month to his mood-swinging behaviour. His concealment of his life at work and his outbursts of frustration with me when his first wife shows disinterest in sex make me wonder whether I am only a servant in his house. I see this poetry below as the only way to calm the burning flame inside me.

I try to be loving, but you blow me away,

I still try to be understanding, but its just resentment that you say.

I try to be super-human and try not to react,
And within my heart I keep emotions intact.

It burns in the inside and I wanna erupt with destruction,
I may just hurt you so much that I avoid my intention.

I can't even twitch you cause I love you somewhere,
If only you grew up and knew I was rare!

I'm waiting, I'm waiting, our lives will prepare,
For the best & the worst and for each other that we care.

I know time will flow and you'll smile I can see,
I just hope that then you are still a part of me.

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