Place: Long Beach, Washington, USA
How to Talk to A Stranger?
This article is for men who find it awkward to go up to women and make conversation. It takes you through a process that most successful men follow when they approach women. It makes you realize how easy it is if you just follow a few basic rules.
You walk in public by a random stranger girl who interests you and it catches your attention. You want to go speak to her. Like most men out there, you bother too much what you are gonna say and how she is gonna react. You wonder if you are gonna freak her out and if she will consider you to be a jerk.
This article is for men who find it awkward to go up to women and make conversation. It takes you through a process that most successful men follow when they approach women. It makes you realize how easy it is if you just follow a few basic rules.
You walk in public by a random stranger girl who interests you and it catches your attention. You want to go speak to her. Like most men out there, you bother too much what you are gonna say and how she is gonna react. You wonder if you are gonna freak her out and if she will consider you to be a jerk.
Stop! All that just drowned your confidence and your prospects with the girl even before you started doing anything. Worse is that by the time you gather courage to speak to her, she'll take off and you miss an opportunity. You need to act quickly as soon as you see a girl that interests you. Go right up to her and start a conversation.All right, so how do you approach?
The key here is that you have to keep it casual. Don't make her think you are "actually" approaching her. Walk up to her confidently with a relaxed body language and in a clear, resonating yet casual tone, pop up your question.
So what's your question gonna be like?
Look around at the surroundings or understand the situation/theme of the place and pick a question. The key here is that you have to ask an open-ended question. If you ask her a yes/no question, it ends right there! So when you walk up to her and she looks at you expecting you to say something interesting, drop it down and make it simple.
The key here is that you have to keep it casual. Don't make her think you are "actually" approaching her. Walk up to her confidently with a relaxed body language and in a clear, resonating yet casual tone, pop up your question.
So what's your question gonna be like?
Look around at the surroundings or understand the situation/theme of the place and pick a question. The key here is that you have to ask an open-ended question. If you ask her a yes/no question, it ends right there! So when you walk up to her and she looks at you expecting you to say something interesting, drop it down and make it simple.
"Do you know where the smoothie place is? I'm in the mood for a smoothie."
--If you are at a coffee shop:
"Whoa! That’s a really neat mug. What do you think about it?"
"Whoa! That’s a really neat mug. What do you think about it?"
--If you are at a bookstore:
"That's a really great book I've heard? Are you just curious or are you actually from the domain?"
"That's a really great book I've heard? Are you just curious or are you actually from the domain?"
--If you are at a clothing/footwear store:
"Hey I am trying to find something for my female friend for her birthday, but I am really bad at it. Do you think you can help me choose?"
"Hey I am trying to find something for my female friend for her birthday, but I am really bad at it. Do you think you can help me choose?"
Carrying it forward...
Bring in some routine or some stories. But choose your topic sensibly to keep the conversation interesting. Nobody wants to hear where you work and what's your specialization at the first go. Let her do as much talking as she can. Now you don't want the interest to fall. So, as she starts to get done with her words, stack up interesting events from
your life and roll them out starting with the most interesting. She'll exclaim, she'll laugh and she'll open up. That's it. The conversation will keep going. Here was the key: You always made sure that she was reacting more than you were reacting. It seemed as if she was opening up and you were letting her speak.
When you first started speaking to her, you were casual in your approach. No preformed thoughts, no inhibitions! You didn't care what she would think of you!
You need to do this more often with a mindset that you are going through a normal day. That day you see someone interesting and she wants to open up to you, how cool! Else your day continues like any other normal day.
The mistake that guys make is they try pick-up lines, they try too hard to make her laugh or sometimes even ask really weird questions. These things don't work in the real world when you are talking to a stranger for the first time.
The casual laid back approach ...
It sets you at a higher value than her. It causes an attraction as you keep the ball rolling. In every conversation, the person who reacts less and is more relaxed turns out to be more
dominant or alpha. The other person trying to react more is the one who's more attracted. This makes a girl struggle to make small talk and keep the conversation going as long as you set your value higher than hers.Always remain more relaxed than her. Do not react too much to what she says, just keep it casual and smile and show that you are listening. As long as you remain a challenge for her, she will remain attracted and try to flaunt the best of her to you. Keeping the alpha status and staying in control right from the beginning will ensure you remain a challenge.
This basically is the entire gist of "How to Talk to A Stranger"! Try this out with a few girls out there and each time you'll get better than before. Don't panic, don't react, don't worry about what she thinks! Just speak up!
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